HEY GIRL!

Yesterday I was sitting outside OShag waiting for Mary's slow butt so we could walk over to Tony's place together. (Mary would protect me should there be any villians on the walk) Anyway in one of the dorms next to OShag, there was a girl yelling out the window every two seconds to passers by. She would either say

-HEY GIRL!
-some sort of oh yaya sound
or
-start making loud sex grunting noises (which were not hot and i don't think she was actually having sex)

in no particular order.

I just thought I’d point some of the interesting people I came across on my epic trek to chemistry this morning.

Read-walker girl: I’m not sure if read-walker girl actually qualifies because it’s unclear whether she is a regular person or super human. Regardless, she is quite the anomaly as she is walking to class and reading a book at the same time. Not only is she walking, she’s sort of speed walking without being clumsy or anything. Now it’s quite apparent that what she’s really trying to do is insult my slow moving, clumsy, half-asleep self as I try to make it to class…I don’t even know if my fly is zipped. Look read-walker girl, if it was up to me I’d be reading my textbook while walking to class to prepare for lecture, but I can’t. God has blessed each of us differently and he chose not to give me multi-tasking skills. Instead, I excel at such activities as sleeping, sleeping in, and napping.

Loud talker girl: I’m not busting on women, but the next person I notice as I continue to walk to class happens to also be female. There are actually two of them: her and her friend who must be an apprentice in training as she is loud, but not quite loud enough to warrant a special title. Anyway the special thing about loud talker girl is that I am literally 40 feet ahead of her and I can clearly hear every word she says…and I’m not even a good listener – ask my girlfriend. I quickly learned that she recently broke up with her boyfriend and it’s OK because it was her idea, but I continue to suspect that there was more to it than that. Maybe he went deaf. Maybe he killed himself because he couldn’t bear to hear more of her loud mindless dribble. Who knows.

Loud talker guy: This is the brother of loud talker girl I believe. As I’m waiting for the lecture to begin, I hear a horrible mutant laughing sound. Alarmed, I look around but quickly relax when I realize it’s just loud talker guy making noise. Apparently one of his buddies told a joke. All laughed however only one has malformed vocal cords. As the conversation continued it dawned on me that it seemed as though all were in a glass box except loud guy. I could see everyone’s mouth moving but I could only hear such important conversation tidbits as “That party…” and “Beer is cool because…” from loud talker guy. Loud talker guy eventually quiets down about a minute after the lecture starts, but his obnoxious voice still haunts my thoughts.

After class as I was walking I also noticed motorcycle guy who was revving his bike as he is stopped at a crosswalk waiting for people to cross. Now I know that it sucks to stop at a crosswalk waiting for pedestrians to trot along, but the loud VROOOOOOMMM is kind of annoying. On the bright side, if he goes and drives into a truck or something he probably won’t have to wait on pedestrians any longer. That’s really it. I’m not faulting these people except for motorcycle guy because I know I piss people off too as I could be considered friend with an intermittent boring blog. Of course it's ok because I'm super awesome.

Randomness

"Two kilograms is a lot. Do you know how I know that? When you buy two kilograms of coke, that's a lot of coke." - Random guy to his random friend in the line at Hokie Grill. Thank you random guy.

New Poetry Tuesday

krunkmeImIrish: another badass haiku

Auto response from diy0ungnsavurslf: Another haiku:

I rock. I rock. I.
Rock. I rock. I rock I rock.
I rock. Haiku rock.

krunkmeImIrish: you need to get an agent

This is an example of a good friend - a friend that supports your artistic endeavors and gives you compliments.

Surf N Waves 04: your haiku fucking sucks.

This is a bad friend. This is a friend that puts your dream of writing poetry down. This is also a friend that borrows your car and then steals your Gobstoppers. That's right, I walked into Mary's room after she borrowed my car and there was a box of Gobstoppers on her desk that looked an awful lot like the ones missing from my car. At first she denied it and then changed her story that she bought them in the first place. Right...

greekcheek 86: Ha-i-ku. 3 syllables
greekcheek 86: your haiku this morning ended with 6, therefore...no dice, playa
diy0ungnsavurslf: hai-ku
greekcheek 86: nono
greekcheek 86: ha-i-ku
diy0ungnsavurslf: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=haiku
greekcheek 86: im never right with you! THIS NEVER HAPPENS!

This is a friend that obviously does not have a good grip of the English language and thus should not be able to criticize my literary works.

By the way, I changed the color scheme of this thing. As the haiku says, I rock.

Inside the Mind of a Psychopath

Have you ever had a friend that's so crazy and unpredictible that it scares you a bit? I haven't. Well actually this would be much less interesting if I hadn't, so let me change that. I have. She's Greek, is almost fluent in English (although still ESL), funny, and most importantly crrraaazyyy.

Let me give you some background on said friend. She's American and Greek at the same time actually, although I don't know how that works out. Growing up in Greece, her parents were goat herders (the very top of the Greek social hierarchy). She enjoyed racing around the cobblestone streets in her chariot at high speed knocking over gyro carts. Even though her diet still consists of mostly feta cheese and olives, she's slowly adjusting to real food in America. Her favorite Greek movie is Gladiator, and although Sparta is an awesome band, she doesn't like them because she's from Athens and assumes they're actually Spartans (which they're not). If you haven't figured this out already, the friend is Leeza.

With this background information it's already fairly apparent that she's a bit wild, but I thought I'd give some primary source documentation to support this. (primary source = AIM)

Well the first thing is the ESL comment from earlier. You might think I'm just saying that because she usually lives in another country and I'm just being a closed-minded American. Well here's the proof.
diy0ungnsavurslf: did you get confused with our language?
greekcheek 86: yeah, its a long story
greekcheek 86: but i messed up the english
Yup, this obviously isn't just a mean cheap shot from me.

Alright, yes it's apparent that Leeza is ESL, but what about the whole craziness argument? Well the other day Leeza left me a funny message, and she expected me to quote her on it. I'm not going to quote it out of principal, because funny messages can't be forced, they just happen, and if I quote her on it, I'll be breaking the AIM quoting rules and that wouldn't be very good, right? A normal person would just let this drop, but nooooo not Leeza.

greekcheek 86: thats goooood. did u get my msg last night abt your blog?
...and later...
greekcheek 86: im pissed that my comment about almost getting a noise complaint because of the funniness of your blog didnt even get a mentionette in the blog, let alone the multiple gold stars it deserves [Note: no gold stars here]
...and again...
greekcheek 86: but that was begging for bloggage!

Hmm, seems like someone just can't let things go. If you don't know Leeza, you don't realize that she makes up words all the time...which is really crazy and odd. For instance:

greekcheek 86: what does chagrin [fake word] mean?
..and..
greekcheek 86: drew, what does amanuensis [another fake word] mean?

Is that not the craziest thing ever?
Anyway a quick rundown of a few other crazy Greek Leeza things:
She's critical of South Park:
greekcheek 86: how is a towel that gets high [Towelie] an example of good writing??!?!
She rides the short bus to school:
greekcheek 86: just because we ride the short bus to school doesnt mean that were not awesome
She thinks I'm not even worthy of normal human dignity and at the level of a slave:
greekcheek 86: its been hard to get used to these long months without a slave. i thought maybe youd be intersted, but youre not :-(
Plus, she just plain admits to being weird:
greekcheek 86: well im a weirdo you can take it or leave it

After this long-winded exposition on Leeza, it might seem that I'm being critical, which I'm not...I'm just pointing out the specialness that is her Greek self.

And one more things I guess for being such a good sport about me giving her a hard time, she gets my highest amount of gold stars ever given away at once, the holy grail of gold stars - four gold stars

My elite poetry skills

krunkmeImIrish: i liked your haiku this morning, by the way
krunkmeImIrish: hilarious

Going to physics
Too early in the morning
Newton you asshole

I give myself a gold star:

Seems to me like it would be a good idea to respond to all those that commented or whatever, so here goes:

matty said...
you are gay
kthx.

Thanks Matt, not only is your feedback highly appreciated, you make a darn good point. Go hunt some ugly gorillas or something. You get no gold stars.

jack said...
drew you are badass like whoa, and your blog is bound to be
kickass like none other. keep up the good work

This is more like it, compliments are good. You have a good point as well...I will probably have the first blog ever that's cool and kickass. Thank you, you get two gold stars.

Drew said...
I agree w/ matty...you are gay no dice playa

Ah, if it isn't my ghetto friend Drew! You're first mistake is you agreed with Matt. That's usually a bad idea because c'mon, it's Matt. Also you forget that although you may be ghetto, I am not. I looked up 'no dice' on urbandictionary.com, and I assume you're using that in the context of the 8th definition, " When you don't agree to something. " Anyway translated that turns into "You are homosexual, I don't agree to that." You're right Drew, I'm not gay! Yay! I'd give you a gold star, but I think you may have been trying to be critical of me.

Anonymous said...
drew. let me just say that you are super neat-o cool. tbt
you could be my hero.

Well I guess I don't know who left this comment, but thank you! For that hero comment, you get three gold stars.


Lastly, some random person from Ohio left a comment...but I deleted it. Anyway I'm glad to hear you have computers in Ohio now.